The sounds of the waves and the gentleness of the breeze were soothing. Somethings not right its to quite, gunshots in the distance break the silence, I duck down further into the Canoe. I see a bullet fly past the side. They see me! I sit up to grab the paddle but i feel a stabbing in my chest, and another gunshot goes off. This time the bullet goes straight the right side of my chest, I feel it rip through my flesh and plant itself inside of me. The blood blooms across my white T-shirt like a flower in the spring.
I slump down, rip off the bottom of my T-shirt and wrap it tightly around my chest trying to stop the bleeding. "I'm going to die" is the only thing going through my mind as i slowly lower myself into the water when the shots stop, the salt water burns my wound. I slide under the boat and pull it with me as i swim. I figured this is the only way i get to the island without being seen. The island is getting closer and i have only been shot at twice, from here i can see the entrance to the underground shelter, its being guarded by huge men with full body amour, i don't know how i'm going to pass them. I head around to the back of the island and leave the boat there, I sprint off into the woods and climb up the tallest tree i can see for a better view. I see the guards; one has walked off to check the rest of the island while the other one has stayed there. This is my chance.
Morgan this is really good! i love the way you used similes and described everything amazingly, you have a great range of interest and i felt like you're story could of actually been true, next time work a bit more on the ending i felt like it could of carried on for a bit longer and add in a couple more senses, but overall you did amazing work, :) <3
ReplyDeleteWay just way your story is awesome it left me wanting to know what going to happen next. If I had to make a little tweak it would be to make sure all you sentience made scene. But yea your story was cool :p
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